lost in the mind

I haven't been really happy like how i used to be for the past few days. Bad things have been happening around me causing my mood to be way down. And then im very lost on what I should do next, what step should I take next. Probably my life has been smooth sailing for the past few months and right now i just got to learn from all these downfalls. I never seen myself so lost and upset for so long. Nothing seems to be lifting my mood up. I just wanna go somewhere else to find a place and relax and never go back. But i don know where I can go. I am just so lost. This might sound cliche but it is totally describing how i am feeling inside.

bastard, fuck off man. i hate u for who u're. even if u're my xxx, i don give a damn now!

this weekend is badly screwed up. plans are not met and as a result were changed. could tell disappointment from a plenty of their faces including mine. so badly needed to drink and let loose but we changed over to kbox instead. not saying its a bad one but then again, still prefering drinking and games! after my papers, so going to hit the clubs with my cottons ;))


anyway couldn't meet twiny for a few reasons ): therefore i was feeling pretty low. probably because i've things to share with him and wanna spend more time with him. we always hit places for good food. bad thing now is he will only booked out frm his field camp 2weeks frm now. sucks so badly. and then we promised to meet up aft 2weeks to gobble down as many good food as possible! meanwhile, saving up is the thing to do. i don wanna eat brocolis again at the end of the month!


anw bad mother's day, my mom fell sick. we didnt have any dinner pertaining to today. but well everyday's a mother's day ;)


saturday night was more work and sleep, can't believe i woke up at 3pm in the noon, dinner and work then supper and nr-ed home. can't believe i actually took a nr home because normally cabs would be tempting me so much!


im so confused inside now. im bad at handling my emotions and affairs with the heart. i always suck so badly at it. and yes, i need someone to put me back into the right track where i was leading my life so good and simple. i hate it when i have to think alot or when there're just too much thoughts weighing so badly in my mind that i can't get them off. seriously a part of me knows i need to and have to let those unwildful thoughts get off my mind BUT something is pulling me bck. i guess its all things to do with the heart and the feelings. im always falling into th wrong traps and ended up taking a very long time to pull myself up. im happy with simple things and actions that all makes my day. but there're also certain things that makes me think alot. im so caught up right now. feli advised me to take th 2weeks off frm work to really do some reflections. think i need to really get myself settled down and do it. i just need time alone to think through what i really want. keeping myself busy is just smth tempoary, whatever it is, i need to start acting it now.

kboxing

k, we actually called off the pubbing idea simply because boat quay sucks. the filled with pubs streets are ALL FREAKING PACKED. we couldn't get seats or tables for 11 of us. Okay, excluding 2extras(seriously VERY EXTRA). as they were aaron's friend but we couldn't comment much so we just let it be. anyw after walking rounds and rounds, they came to a conclusion of kboxing at Cine. awww, expensive night )': it was like 25++ per pax! in the very end, candy paid for the 9of us. well its obvious that they 2 had to pay for their own shares despite the fact that 1/2 of the time they were flirting ard at one corner of the room and not singing much, but who gives a damn anyway.
esteeeee, love!
So we(etsee, mikal and me) were damn early! we agreed to meet close to 11pm at raffles place but then everyone ws late. some due to working, some due to "dating". ah huh, they know who i'm refering to ;) we decided to sit in over at Mac cause the weather was sibeh humid and we need seats for our tired legggs. Presenting to you, the very irritating-always-disiao-me guy, Mikal CYJ! TALK TO MY HAND, he says.
for the following 2shots were all by him and NOT ME OK!

My hair just sucks so badly lah. why curl?!
SELF SHOTS, we are ZI LIAN KUA! LOL!
why i smile until like that because of his annoying inside joke. fugly all thanks to him!
then estee help us take, cool man!
we acting decent only!
AND THEN IT ALL STARTS AGAIN.
one act fierce one act squrriel. WTF?!!?!
and its the combination of us. (inside joke). ahhh, whatever MCYJ
I better at angles, you suck nipplehead. HAHAH
nua high and gan high! HAHAHAH
th whole kbox session was a little of tense, high, awkwardness and mess. oh well, enough of those unhappy things. overall, everyone enjoyed :) other than B&JT always pooling around. HAHAHA. hokay, meet my new friend, feli-the-felicia ;)
and she loves to imitate me smile! my signature smile ;D
chio boodoh!
we did this because the 2 extras were doing it. why not man?!
and beloved SM,candy baobei. wooohoooo

time to bed. good nights to all buns and raisins.

it is time to do so. let go.

drive a lambor

ever imagine if one day you get to drive a lambor down the streets of orchard road and when you step outta the lambor, its as if like wind is blowing at u and yr hair is flying, got that seh lor! SHUAI MAN! lambor forever my top fav car amg all :) I think tonight i'll probably dream of me being a catwoman and getting out of the car w my robinhood(?) heh? robinhood and catwoman? no link at all :/ okok, i prefer batman better.


apparently laoniang just got home from work at ard 12am. sibeh shag ok. had a long day and somemore i only had 1hr of nap in the afternoon lor! plus when i was rushing home from school by cab simply because my new LCD tv is here and my mom wants me home asap to ensure everything is perfectly fitted. so she ai zai pay for my cab fare. here comes the irritating part, the cab uncle actually said,

"HUH, XIAO MEI NI YAO PAO DIAO AH??!!"

when I heard this, I shoot him back saying "UNCLE, I NOT RUNNING AWAY LAH, MY MOM PASSING ME MONEY LAH. NB!" ok w/o the nb inside. but he thinks EVERYONE LOVES TO PRETEND TO CALL AND RUN AWAY MEH. STUPID UNCLE! nvrmind, i forgive him.


work was "wah lao eh". sibeh sian. and im very tired from work. tmr working evening shift again -.- neverending work and school to think bout. looking forward to friday night, heading out to drink w all my lovely cottons! and then saturday night supper+movie with my 2bestest; twin&yun :) woohoo, my dad not in sing this weekend and does it call for a party??? ;) sure gonna enjoy and look forward to weekends!!!


after the end of this week, i must start to study and not procastinate anymore! I fucking need to pass everything in order to start my UOL in aug. somemore I've bridging courses in june and my hk trip. then D's birthday also in June. somemore GSS IS IN JUNEEEEE!!! :DDDDDDDDDD sibeh high, because not only money rolls in, money rolls out too! HAHA.


something pretty random, i actually started back on my habit of writing my diary again :) wonder why too. but carrying it w me nowadays whereever i go :)

KBYE!

bad morning

I hate it when people anyhow throw their attitude and right into my face. because I feel that it is fucking rude of he/she to do that. and I don tolerate anyone's attitude. you were the one who did not do up yr part for the proj work and on monday morning (which was ytd), only after I text u then u told me u forgot. well i understand u had a busy weekend so did I. but still I did managed to get my work done. nvrmind that, then you were so unhappy in letting me see what u did. and when I asked thats all? you gave me such lousy attitude that at the moment I felt like giving you a tight slap. Nb, don ever give me attitude, I DONT TAKE IT. yes, we were late this morning and you waited for us for 45mins but it is totally 2 DIFFERENT MATTER BTW! please get this clear, you're slapping yr own mouth. and if u still feel so unhappy then you need not get it done, I DON MIND DOING IT MYSELF. fuck.