lost, totally

Feeling super lost and emotional right now. These past few days hasnt been good at all. Either school or family has been on a super rough patch. Nothing is healing. I can sense the coldness going on everywhere and I don't want to admit it though. Seriously don't know what went wrong. There seem to be something going on so wrong in the family. Everyone's mad at each other. My sisters and I are mad at him. And my brother isn't getting any better, in fact worse than I thought. Right now, the sole survivor would be my mom. I know she has been on a very very stressful mode recently and I wish I could help her. I feel so worried for her, really. Seeing her being so vexed over stuffs and all I can is to help her lessen her load, staying at home more, helping her with more chores.


Is this meant to be a test for all of us? Maybe, yes? no? Im trying my very best to hold on strong. But today when I was in school, I couldn't take it anymore when amos and me were talking over vr. I finally broke down and felt mush better after the break. No words could thank him. I realise I couldn't find anyone more appropiate than him to talk to at that point of time. Now when I'm alone, I feel so lost yet again. I don't know what should my next step be. I hope they listen to me or at least try to. I want everything bad to go away soon.


my besfriend, twiny isn't feeling too good either inside NS. sigh, why are things happening after one and another? everything bad comes straight at a go. im trying to not take it too personal. in fact, i totally have no mood for anything like movie and such. all i feel like doing is to go get a drink and talk my lungs out or at least vent everything out. cause im feeling very suffocated inside and i think I could literally die anytime now.


fuck.